You’ve been reading some old letters, You smile and you think how much you’ve changed

29 Dec

The end of the year approaching, my thoughts naturally tend towards reflection. Bouts of a bittersweet wistfulness overwhelm me often these nights. So many different feelings mix and mingle in my soul, to quote Morrissey, “I’m not happy and I’m not sad”. Night after night, when everyone is asleep, I found myself alone in the quiet stillness of the night, flipping through the pages of my many diaries written throughout the years. I don’t even know why I have the habit of doing it, for it only leaves me shattered and in tears, but at times there shines a smile on my face and this song, not originally written but covered by the Welsh band the Manic Street Preachers comes to mind. I love how the video for the song captures the highlights of the band’s early years, especially moments with Richey who looks just stunning with his eyeliner and cool hairdo. I really love how the song combines both sentiments; the looking back at the past and all the wonderful moments that no money in the world could bring back, but also stating ‘this is the day your life will surely change’ so it’s looking cheerfully into the future and what goods things it might bring. It’s almost like the Roman God Janus who represents things such as duality, gateways, passageways, transitions, endings, beginnings, and whose face looks both ways; into the past and into the future. To be able to simply appreciate the beautiful moments of the past days without the ache of yearning in your heart, now that would be a true gift.

William Turner, Moonlight, 1841

You didn’t wake up this morning
’cause you didn’t go to bed
You were watching the whites of your eyes turn red

The calendar on your wall is ticking the days off
You’ve been reading some old letters
You smile and you think how much you’ve changed
And all the money in the world
Couldn’t bring back those days


You pull back the curtains
And the sun burns into your eyes
You watch a plane flying
Across a clear blue sky

This is the day, your life will surely change
This is the day when things fall into place

You could’ve done anything if you’d wanted
And all your friends and family think that you’re lucky
But the side of you they’ll never see
Is when you’re left alone with the memories
That hold your life together, together like glue


You pull back the curtains
And the sun burns into your eyes
You watch a plane flying
Across a clear blue sky
This is the day, your life will surely change
This is the day when things fall into place
This is the day, your life will surely change
This is the day when things fall into place
This is the day
This is the day

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6 Responses to “You’ve been reading some old letters, You smile and you think how much you’ve changed”

  1. rhjbyron 30th Dec 2022 at 2:27 am #

    💯 Seasons best wishes , I look forward to many more posts, Happy New ish Year 🕉️

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Anni Paisley 30th Dec 2022 at 3:15 pm #

    This really touches me today. I have been flipping through an old journal all month. I know those feelings so well and the magic within those lost moments.
    I always enjoy your page. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and loves here.
    Have an inspiring new solar year! 🙌💗

    Liked by 1 person

    • Byron's Muse 30th Dec 2022 at 5:01 pm #

      Thank you! I’m truly delighted to hear there is someone out there who feels the same. All the best for New Year!

      Like

  3. Amedeo Chenier 1st Jan 2023 at 6:47 pm #

    Well, Byron himself said, if he doesn’t write to empty his mind, he will go mad. All my years of diaries, (long discontinued) I now think were part tendency to archive and part to articulate feelings as a kind of therapy. It’s amazing how I practically never have read what I’ve written. Maybe there is something unnatural about the whole business. Being able to look back to a presumably accurate account of what took place and how you were feeling may not be adaptive for humans. Humans have been writing for only a very small portion of their history. Maybe there is a reason why our memories distort and burnish memories and why we forget nearly everything. There’s another feelling I have, summed up nicely by the prolific diarist André Gide- “whoever observes himself arrests his development. A caterpillar who desired to know himself would never become a butterfly.” My diaries were never written for anyone else’s eyes and yet it’s been impossible to hold the thought that nobody will ever read them. I eventually realized that I’d portrayed a character and I must maintain that character rather than attempt anything that would seem to be “out of character.” This has quite a circumscribing effect among other drawbacks related to journal keeping. When you read back, is it clear that the waters you drank truly quenched your thirst because you explicitly stated as much, or is it the memories of what you read today that convince you that those were days of comparative happiness? FD: I’ve already lived twice as long as did Byron but am convinced you are significantly younger because of your pop music references. Otherwise, we’re very often on the same wavelength. When you recently talked about Edward Hopper, I’d just come back from several hours of the exhibit at Whitney Museum and so also had him in mind. Just to say I look forward to reading your future postings, as I have in the past, and wishing you the best for the new year.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Byron's Muse 24th Jan 2023 at 3:45 pm #

      Thanks for this comment, it made me think a lot… Yes, indeed I didn’t yet live as long as Lord Byron had.

      Like

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